You can find it online at Biblegateway.com 
It will even let you listen as someone else
reads it for you. 

 GotQuestions.org  is another great resource to explore.  

​

This depicts when Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead.  He's still doing this today.  Personally I know 15 people, many of them Vermonters who have had death and back experiences.  He frees people from addictions, restores relationships, and revives lost hopes, too.

Keep reading, but more importantly - PRAY - all that is is talking to God.  He'd like to hear you say, God I'm sorry for being distant, doing things that aren't loving, and ignoring all the wonders of creation without thanking you.  I need the forgiveness that only Jesus on the cross can fully pay for.  Thank you that it is freely available.  But only when you are ready.  

Be real with Him.  Got doubts about Him, ask Him to reveal Himself to you personally.  Hate Him for something nasty that happened to you, lay it all out - cuss and curse if you must - but when done - ask Him to reveal His love a fresh.  He made you.  Did you wander away or have you never even heard much about Him.  Whatever your lot, He delights in you.  He loves you.  Be assured - He'll respond in amazing ways.